27 weeks.

I didn't go to my GCT test last week, that little beauty will happen tomorrow. Again, still not looking forward to it, but alas it needs to be done.

Finding it increasingly hard to sleep of a night time, I'm up til around 2.30-3.00am every night before Ian's alarm wakes me up at 4.45am :( Can't put my finger on why, I guess it's just one of those great pregnancy things!

Experiencing bouts of reflux too. I had forgotten how nasty is was, I had it with Isla too, but not this early in the pregnancy (If you can call 27 weeks early).

Still no name decision or discussion taking place. Ian's decided he will probably puke/pass out during an actual delivery (regardless of whether it be vaginal or c-section) so I figure if he's not there I'll just name the baby and introduce them afterwards ;).

Massive kicks now, my whole stomach is jumping about most of the time. Isla felt "baby sister" "bump" her yesterday and she didn't quite know how to take it!

Next midwife appointment on Tuesday night, again in the Birthing Unit. Not sure if Ian will join me this time, I suspect he'll offer to stay home with Isla and I'll go alone. Fingers crossed I don't pass out - I could feel myself getting all woosey last appoinment when I was looking at the little crib with the heat lamp and all the suction equipment etc. My mind just races a hundred miles an hour and I start to feel all the colour drain from my face, then things spin a little...quite sad really! Luckily Kate was able to distract me last time, hopefully I'll be okay!!

26 weeks.

Going for GTT test on Thursday.

Busy, busy, busy around here these days. Isla's doing well, check for her updates on her blog http://islasjourney.blogspot.com

Big success with her on the toilet which is exciting. She was toilet trained earlier in the year, but then slipped back into nappies, much to our dismay. The other day I asked her to get a clean nappy and she looked in the packet and said, "there won't be enough left for baby sister" and has been in undies since :)

Nothing new to report. Will update soon.

Antenatal appointment.

My sister Kate came with me to my antenatal appointment last night, we spent the day together at the movies for my birthday, so we just headed to the hospital after that, although the traffic was horrendous and it took an hour and a half to get there, so we were half an hour late. Very quiet in the BU though (thankfully) Kate was disappointed in that, she wanted to hear screaming women, who knows why!

The midwife, Jane, was lovely. All my previous antenatal appointments have taken no more than 15 minutes maximum, but this one took 50 minutes! Mainly because she was happy to sit around and chat with us for the majority of the time.

Good news is, baby is doing perfectly! Last night was the first time I'd heard her heartbeat, and it was lovely and strong *wub*. Fundal height is measuring exactly 25cms which equals 25 weeks :D And, best of all, there are no scales in the birthing unit, so the exact number in cubic tonnes that I've gained lately remains unknown! Yippee!

Bad news, blood pressure is a little high, but nothing to worry about at this stage. SPD - check! Eugh. Can't get in through the hospital physiotherapists because they're completely booked out so it looks like private physio it is.

Next appointment is in the birthing unit again in 3 weeks time.

25 weeks.

Lots of Braxton Hicks now, glad I know what they are now, they were starting to freak me out a little. Feel completely different to when I was pregnant with Isla though.

Having absolutely feral pelvic pain, suspect it may be SPD, will have it checked out at tomorrow's antenatal appointment. Started on Thursday after I dropped Isla at kindy, hurt to walk/lift legs/get dressed etc. Took Isla shopping for new shoes to go with her new Orthotics and felt like my pelvis was separating when she asked me to carry her. Come Friday, I could barely walk at all without a lot of pain :(

Sunday morning (from about 2am onwards) I couldn't sleep because the pain was so bad. Luckily the Olympics have been keeping me company.

Will update again tomorrow after my appointment. Hopefully they don't have scales up in the birthing unit, not looking forward to the digits that will appear!

The size of a house.

literally. I am massive.

I took a belly shot yesterday and immediately deleted it off my camera, I was completely shocked by the sheer size of my baby belly :o.

I wonder what my fundal height is? I assume it'll be measured next week at my appointment, but holy hell, I look full term already :(

24 weeks.

Hello Braxton Hicks! I completely forgot what those pesky little buggers felt like, and had been wondering why my tummy kept getting tight. Silly me!

Feeling utterly titanic in size and quite tired. I'm managing to sleep right through the night lately *touch wood* with no toilet breaks which has been nice, especially since it's been so damn cold lately.

Have my first tiger stripes for this pregnancy too :( I thought I'd last a little longer before they reared their ugly head, but alas, I am not so lucky.

Went to the hairdressers on Thursday while Isla was at pre-school, my hair was absolutely feral and needed some long awaited TLC. Found a fabulous hairdresser, albeit an expensive one, who fixed the crap jobs I'd had done previously, but she's 30wks pregnant :( Here's hoping she's not on maternity leave for too long!

One week until midwife appointment. Found original yellow card. Camera charger arrived an hour ago and is getting a work-out as we speak.

Reliving the past...Part III The birth

Wheeled into the anaesthetic bay, hooked up to some weird white bag of fluid in a net. Local anasthetic shot in the arm/inside elbow joint for mother of all canula's to be inserted for morphine afterwards.

Ian sat with me while they prepared the theatre. I could hear them with all the clamps and things clanging about, bear in mind I am scared as all hell, Ian says, "sounds like a kitchen in there". Feel like I'm going to vomit at the thought.

Someone comes in and says that they're ready for me, I start to cry and say goodbye to Ian. He looks absolutely terrified and quite hilarious in his scrubs and hat. I tell the theatre staff that I am keeping my eyes closed because I am too scared to see medical equipment/operating table etc. They all laugh. I hate them all.

I'm asked to move over onto the "skinny bed" ie the operating table. It's cold. As soon as I lay down, they were sticking those heart monitor things to my chest, the BP cuff is wrapped around my arm and I'm asked to lay my arms on the arm boards where one of my arms is tied down.

The anaesthetist did tell me before hand that I once the mask was on I'd feel a lot of pressure in my throat, it'd feel like I had a golf ball stuck in there, he'd said. He was right. When the mask was first put on I couldn't sense any form of gas coming out of it and I was convinced he was suffocating me!! I pulled the mask off and said, "there's nothing coming out", and he told me there was and put the mask back on. I can remember the golf ball feeling so well, I kept grabbing my throat to make it stop, then I heard them say, "Okay she's out, let's get on with it" FARK! I was desperately trying to say, "I'm awake" and that was the last thing I remember.

I woke up in recovery around 5.20pm in so.much.pain. Nurse asks me how I'm feeling, I sob "It hurts so much!" and she says "oh, you're not hooked up to your pain relief" and connects the morphine to my canula. Fat lot of good it does, it just seems to make me itchy. Nurse comes back and I ask her if I had a girl. She says "yes", does my obs and goes again while I go back ot sleep. We repeat this at least another 3 times. Just before I'm transferred back to the ward, they realise I'm still on the theatre sheet (which is covered in blood and god knows what else) and they ask me to roll off it. You have got to be kidding me I think. It hurts so bad, I can't even explain!

Back on the ward, Ian is holding Isla, I am on oxygen and have hideous after-birth contractions, surgery pain and double vision, as well as the itchy and slight nausea from the morphine, I feel dreadful. I can't hold Isla because I am not well enough. Initially, I am scared to look at her, I can't explain why.

I wont go into the whole visitors thing again.

The next day, I am able to hold Isla in the morning, around 11am. The nurses looked after her overnight so I could rest. I give her a bottle and can't quite figure out how to hold her properly. Around 2pm I'm moved from my home of the past few weeks in the ante-natal ward to the post-natal ward. Room-mate askes staff to leave me there so she can help me look after Isla, and so she doesn't get a feral roomie. They insist I have to go.

Luckily, I get a private room, which I am in for about 5 minutes before visitors arrive. It takes 2 ward staff 2 trips each to move all the stuff I'd accumulated in my old room to the new one. My half sister and my nephew arrive, followed by my Dad. About half an hour after they leave my Nan arrives and my Mum - this is a big thing for my Mum, she is terribly afraid of hospitals and had tried to visit me once before Isla was born but couldn't stop crying or shaking, she only lasted about a minute.

Nurse comes in and says it's time to take out the catheter, so Mum and Nan leave. With the catheter out, I'm now free to get up out of bed and walk around. A few hours later a midwife came to help me with Isla and to help me out of bed and into the bathroom for a shower and to use the toilet while Ian gives Isla a bottle. I am certain my stomach is ripping apart as I get out of bed. Try to go to the bathroom, and I can't go. Midwife says to keep trying, and I do, I really need to pee, but I can't. After about 30 minutes of trying she suggests I shower as the running water may help me go. No such luck.

Over the course of the next few hours, I found myself sitting on the loo for long stretches of time, but not being able to pee. It hurt! At one point, a clot came out, I called the nurse and she didn't know what it was, it wasn't blood-like, more jelly like. Possibly a piece of placenta, they're not sure. It sits on the nurses desk and is passed around in the hope someone will know what it is. Hideous stink that was coming from me now disappears too. According to Ian, it was the worst thing he's ever smelt (which is particularly unnerving considering he used to work for a mortuary transfer business and picked up dead bodies for a living). The 'thing' is sent to pathology for identification.

All through that night I still couldn't pee. Around 3am it becomes unbearable. I can't stand up, I am in way too much pain to walk to the bathroom. I call a nurse and ask for a bedpan, I explain it hurts too bad, begrudgingly, she brings me one - and I still can't go. 6am my body starts convulsing from the pain and pressure in my bladder. I should point out that all the while, the nurses were telling me to drink more water. I'd had about 3 litres at this point.

I call a nurse, who gives me 2 bottles of water and ural sachets to drink, and I do. She gets the portable ultrasound machine and puts it on me, and says, "there's only 100mLs in your bladder!" HA! She finally gets sick of me complaining and says she'll have to put in a catheter, I think this was more of a threat than an offer, but I insist she does it. She gives me an injection first then puts it in, and hey presto! out comes 2 litres of pee immediately. She had to empty the bag straight away. I can't explain the relief I felt at that moment!

Am released on the Tuesday to come home (Isla was born on the Thursday).

Reliving the past...Part II

I remember it coming close to Christmas day and I wanted to go home. Christmas Eve I had a big breakdown, I yelled and cried at an idiotic Dr and a lovely midwife because I wanted to go home. I'd been in that hospital for 3 weeks and I was completely jack of it. Everyone else was busy making plans on how they'd celebrate and the hospital refused me a day pass to even go home for a few hours, even my room-mate was allowed to go home and drink champagne. Ian visited first thing in the morning with presents (He's shocking at picking presents, he brought me a giant teddy bear and "Guess Who" which would have been great presents if I were 6 years old). My Nan, Aunt, Uncle & cousins visited for about 15 minutes then everyone left. It wasn't even lunch time yet. That day was really, really sad. All the midwives I was accustomed to seeing were rostered off and the ward was full of temps. I was alone in my room with shitful Xmas day tv, and all I could hear outside were visitors for the other patients and crying babies.

So there were lots of APH's happening left right and centre. I can't remember exactly when and how far apart they were anymore. I'd seen a few different OB's while I was in that hospital, the one I was assigned to, said that they'd aim for 36-37wks before delivering, another OB, Jennifer, said that I'd have to make it to 38 weeks, and another Raymound, said there is no reason that I couldn't make it to 40 weeks! Although Jennifer told me all the OBs were on holidays and there wouldn't be any elective c-sections until around the 10th of January. Holy hell. Luckily, I guess, with the frequency of bleeding that I had, they decided after Christmas that I would be delivered with my "next significant bleed". This was sited on my notes.

New Years Eve. There was the most hideous midwife working this shift, along with one totally brilliant one. Room-mate and I were asleep by about 9.30pm, nothing much to celebrate when you're stuck in hospital while everyone else is off partying. Ian called at Midnight. Hideous midwife had champagne and waltzed into our room with the bottle saying things like "what a shame you can't have any". Bitch. I remember a patient in another room had an emergency and you could hear the brilliant midwife calling the hideous one, who was just leisurely walking the hallways, not to be hurried. The brilliant midwife was screaming at her to hurry and had pressed the alarm button for the OB to attend. I bled around 3am. I remember laying in bed terrified to press the nurses buzzer because I wasn't at all ready for an emergency c-section, nor was I ready to deal with an idiotic midwife, but after a few minutes I buzzed.

She came into my room and said, "Yes, what is it this time". "I'm bleeding", I say as I wait for her to page the OB to get me ready with canulas, strap me to the CTG and prep me for surgery - the canulas and CTG monitoring are procedure during an episode of bleeding. Instead, she didn't call for a Dr, nor did she put me on the CTG, instead she retreived a doppler from her pocket, put it on my tummy for 20 seconds and said, "The baby is fine" and left. I should add, the doppler was hers from home and not approved for her to use on the ward. I was left alone until 8am when I had my next round of observations.

One Dr, "Raymond" would see me every few days when he did rounds, and in an utterly bizarre run of coincidences, every time he visited me, I would haemorrhage within 12 hours, despite him not laying a finger on me. He was the Dr to visit me on New Years Day. He joked that seeing as though I always bled after seeing him, he was tempted not to visit me that morning, but said it was all okay because if I was to bleed I'd be delivered anyway. So, I said to him, "I bled last night" and he looked as though I'd hit him in the head with a hammer, there was NOTHING written in my notes about my bleeding. I should have been delivered. He was furious and stormed out of the room to see what had happened.

I didn't hear anymore of it though, but dreaded that woman being on shift in the future. (I still think to this day I should write to the NUM and report it, fat lot of good it would do, but it may help me personally).

I was visited during the week by my OB who said that I'd been put on the theatre list for Friday, 7.1.06, I was first on the list, so if there were no emergencies, I'd be going in at 1pm. Scary and exciting all at once to know that I would be a Mum on Friday. I rang Ian to tell him, told Mum and Nan. Repeated my wishes for absolutely no visitors that day, it was to be our family time, no if's or but's.

What's in a name?

So it appears that everyone has a comment on potential baby names. Ugh. Perhaps it's better to keep completely quiet about the names we're considering until our little bundle arrives, surely it would be harder to say "I hate the name" or "that's awful" when the child has already been delivered and named? ALthough, thinking back, so many people told us they really disliked Isla as a name when she was born. Everyone is keen to offer up suggestions too, but always suiting their naming styles, not ours.

These are some girls names I *love* but will most probably never use :(

* Savannah (probably too American?? I've loved this name since pregnant with Isla, a lady I roomed with had a 2 yr old called Savannah) * Saskia * Matilda (too popular) *Ariadne *Adelaide *Olive *Sibylla *Sophia (too popular) *Francesca (sounds bad with surname) *Audrey *Hermoine (don't want any association with Harry Potter) *Claudia *Annika *Lola (Ian thinks it rhymes too much with Isla and it's my favourite name) *Evangeline (Evie) *Ashton (Ian doesn't think it's androgynous at all, thinks it's soley a boys name) *Maggie (I don't even know why but I love it) *Georgia (My half sister'd daughter has this name, although I have never met her)

Ian's list: *Alexandria *Hope *Harmony *something starting with K...I can't remember them now, will have to find his list, no doubt he's forgotten all of them!

It's all too hard. If this baby was a boy, he'd already be named (in fact, I'd had his name ready since 2006!) Madden William Cole. Sigh. I love, love, LOVE the name Madden. Too masculine for a girl though. Perhaps a middle name? Something Madden Kate F---. Hmm.

Names I loved when pregnant with Isla. *Ava (although was told by SIL I couldn't use it as she had dibbs on it) *Eloise *Paige *Ella *Eliza *Isobel *Olivia *Isla (of course) *Sophia *London. Ian and I still really like London, although I struggle with the idea of "place names". All the other names (except Isla) are way too popular now or I'm just over them.

I'm going to keep this list bumped any time that a "helpful" suggestion is made, here's what's been suggested to me so far:

Gillian, Amelia, Rose, Sophie (surprisingly, as it was my sister who suggested it only 6 weeks after telling me I couldn't have it because she has dibbs on it), Harriet, Lucinda, Isobel, Anna, Lucille, Makayla, Juliet...I'm sure there are more, I just can't think of them now!